May is Foster Care Month

May is Foster Care Month. In this month we are suppose to bring awareness to foster care, and to celebrate the foster parents that make a difference in young children's lives.

I am a foster parent. I have been a licensed foster parent since October of 2009. Our first placement was June of 2010. We still have her, and hope that her case moves forward with a permanent goal of adoption. At this point it really is the only option that would benefit her.  "S" has autism and will need help the remainder of her life. her bm (birth mom) is MIA and her bd(birth dad) is on an extended vacation until "S" is fourteen. At this point really she only knows Greg and I.That is one thing they don't tell you, these cases can drag on and on forever. Frustrating even the most patient person.

We have had the pleasure of fostering seven kids. The youngest three weeks old, the oldest being "S" at six now.  Even with that limited experience, we've seen a range of things. From birth families taking an active stance and trying to get their kids back, to birth families taking no stance and basically abandoning their children. Its heart breaking in any case, but the ones that are really frustrating, are the birth families who do the bare minimum. Contact is sporadic, visits even less, and the commitment is shaking.  The kids social worker is also the parent's social worker, so when it comes down to it, the social worker is fighting for the parents. That's another thing they don't tell you in training, 9 times out of 10 the social worker doesn't really care what happens to the kids, just that the parent's get their rights back. Another file off the overworked over piled desk of the tired and weary social worker. Another thing they don't tell you is that the kids' rights are never guaranteed. Parents have all the rights in Wisconsin- where as the kids- the very people CHILD Protective Services (CPS) is supposed to PROTECT- have very little rights. They have the right to safety- and the threshold Wisconsin uses is abysmally small- were there any bones broken? There is no requirement for food shelter or other safety measures other than broken bones. That's another thing they don't tell you, the laws that CPS follows- do not make sense to ANY one. What would seem like common sense, is actually exactly opposite of what required. Kids are reunified with parents on a daily basis simply for the fact that they showed up to court. They may have missed that last six court hearings. They might have not seen the child for months, maybe even years, but they show up, automatic reunification. The birth parents may not have a job, or any means to support their selves, let alone the child(ren), may not have a roof over their head, or a car to transport them. But they will be reunified, then brought to the front of the line for things like welfare, food stamps, housing, and other programs that were designed to help for a short term period. But these families have no training, and no way to get out, so its just a cycle over and over again.  And they feel like they are ENTITLED to these benefits.

When you decide to become a foster parent, there is extensive training you undergo. There is background checks, and financial checks, and a host of other information. You receive a four inch binder and a six inch binder full of rules that as a foster parent you need to follow. Such as you can not smoke in your house, your car, your yard, or around the foster children. You need to maintain a safe and healthy environment, that has smoke alarms on every level, in every bedroom, and carbon monoxide alarms on every level. A fire extinguisher. One bed for each child, and no more then two children-who must be same sex siblings, can share a room. You can't cut the child's hair with out permission from the parent's or social worker. There are several more. They don't tell you that these rules apply only to the foster parents. The birth parents can do as they please, and social workers make excuses for them.

Things change day to day with placements. You maybe told the placement is permanent with adoption in six months, and the next day the kids go back to their birth parents. Or Family steps up and wants the kids. Family is key in Wisconsin courts. If family steps up and asks for the kids they maybe one step away from jail, never met the kids, but the judge will place them with family. Or remove them from a Foster Home into a familiy's home. Sharing the same blood doesn't make you "Family".  But in the eyes of Wisconsin Law family is and only can be blood.

The system is broken, and everyone admits it but no one is willing to do anything about it. Some of the most awful things I have experienced have come from this broken messed up system. I don't understand 98% of the things that happen. Common sense says one thing, the law says another.   Its a tough road, but someone has to travel it for these kids. Unfortunately- social workers, birth parents, and most involved are not very good at expressing their appreciation for foster parents. So it is a thankless job in that regard. But that child's smile, their laugh. The fact that you provide them with a safe home, stability, love, and warmth.. that is what we do it for.

The one thing they do tell you in training is that your heart will be broken. You think its because you get attached to these kiddos, but in reality its the fact that you have to send these kiddos back into less than ideal, sometimes straight up awful places, and there is not one thing you can do to change it.

I was recently asked my a birth mom if I get attached to kids, and how do I send them back. I hate the later comment, its not a choice I have. Its something I HAVE to do. It breaks my heart a little more each time. There is also the comment of "well you knew from the start this was temporary" These are the people I would love to choke, no matter how well meaning they mean to be. Temporary or not, you still get attached. Its hard not to. Its like telling the mom of the infant who died from Sids- well you were only with them a short time... Or the cancer patients family "well at least you know when they will die." Its awful, not helpful, and it is plain mean. Whether it sets out as a two week placement, or a placement that leads to adoption, when they leave, its hard. You become attached, you love these kids, they are now a part of you. And I love and care and treat these kids as MY OWN. 

As for being attached.. the answer is yes. Some a little more then others. But there is a bond, and you do get attached. I wish the best for my kiddos when they leave. I make them a life book full of pictures, stories of their time with us, and letters from myself, husband, and my family. Its a heart wrenching process- but it gives them a piece of their history. After the kids leave, I have a good cry, or twenty. And we try to move a head, a little bit broken. But those kids stay in my heart for ever, and I always keep them in my thoughts and in my prayers.

Projects! Projects! Projects!

As some of you know I am currently achieving my Bachelor's Degree from Globe University. Yes, currently. That means besides the babysitting, the therapy hours, taking care of the kids and my handsome husband, I am also doing three on line classes. Internet Marketing, Marketing Research, and World Music.

I really enjoy these three classes, and I am learning a plethora of information on each specific subject. Each class also has one major project. A project that is worth hundreds of points. All three projects have specfic time lines, requirements, and due dates. All three projects have the exact same due dates! My first is fast approaching. It is Sunday. While for two of the projects this is a like the pre test of due dates, one is not. That project is on its second leg. The other two are just getting off the ground, and research is starting.

The first for my Marketing Research, and also the one I happen to be the furthest in. We have to conduct market research on our own on a subject, and then present the findings to our class. I chose "Coke Versus Pepsi". I am a Pepsi girl in a Coke family, and this rivalry is a big one! To me Coke taste like acid, and gives me heart burn. But why do others prefer that sickly acidy taste? Diet Coke- my mother's drink of choice- to me, in my humble opinion tastes like what I imagine embalming fluids to taste like. Appropriate because according to the Doctor I went to a couple years ago it has Aspartame in it. According to Dr. "C" Aspartame when drank rises to the body's temperature, and turns into formaldehyde. Which, guess what is used in embalming fluids. Gross!  I am not sure if this is true, but I do know when I cut out all things with aspartame, my headaches went a way.

Anyway enough of my tangent, I am not in biology-I passed that class back in December!Enough of my soap box! My market research is why an individual chose one  soft drink over the other. Why does Coke have such a large portion of the market? I finished writing my survey for that today. So one project deadline down! Two more to go!

My next class is World Music. For this one I am also interviewing parents. Parents of neurotypical children, and parents of children with Autism as well. I want to study to see if music has a calming affect on the children with Autism more so then a neurotypical child. I will be doing interviews for that also in the upcoming weeks and putting together a Music Ethnography. I am currently writing the proposal for this.

Lastly is Internet Marketing. For this class I had to start a new blog. Which I did, its connected to this one I believe. I named it the "Mass"ked Marketer. In the next couple days I will be posting my first entry on that blog. It is going to focus on Building Your Personal Brand through Social Media. If you have anything you want to add to this, tips, suggestions, constructive feed back, please let me know! My grade is based on the amount of traffic that is generated to the blog, and how many comments are there.

In a couple of days you can check here http://masskedmarketer.blogspot.com/ and see my post on how to build your personal brand.

If you want to participate in any of the other projects, please contact me to do so! I could absolutely use any and all help I can get!

Autism

Sapphira came to us three years ago- well almost three years ago. June 7th 2010 to be exact. She came with one pair of shorts, a shirt, two pajamas, and a sun dress that was three sizes to big for her-> this is what she wore home that day. She was energnic, but yet would slip into these periods were she would stare at the wall for several minutes- as long as we would allow. Or she would stare at the television-on or off- and rock. She was not verbal at all, she made noises but nothing you could understand. Even while singing. She was not potty trained at all, was not keen on any type of affection, a hug, kiss, even a small pat on the cheek.

Going to the store or out in public was a night mare. She would get in the cart and then scream as loud as she could, than laugh hysterically. If she wet her diaper, and we didn't catch it right away she would take it off and put it on her head til it covered her entire face.

She hated- absolutely hated- bath time, especially washing her hair. She was literally terrified of it. She would shake scream cry and try to escape. I would feel horrible, and often end up crying right along with her.

It was a huge adjustment for Greg and myself. We had been trying to have a baby for eight years. Infertility made it damn near impossible, and after trying adoption and fertility treatments, we decided to try foster care. We were licensed in October of 2009- actually on my birthday. Sapphira was our first placement. I remember the night we found out about her. We had just attended my sister Michaela's 8th grade choir concert, got a bite to eat, and then headed home. It was a bitter sweet night- a great concert but my Grandma Betty was in the nursing home and was not expected to make it much longer. Moving to that nursing home killed her spirit I believe, it also extinguished her will to live. But that is another story for another time.  I checked my email before heading upstairs, while Greg was in the bathroom. My folder "fostercare" was lit up. My heart tumbled over in my chest. Maybe? No probably just another offering for a class. I stopped breathing when I read the subject "Potential Child" I quickly read the email and screamed "Greg we got a kid! A little girl!"  I read the email, stopping when it said potential Autism... I wasn't really sure what Autism was, only knew what I saw with the movie "Rain Man."  We started to pray, and the next morning at 8:30am I called the foster care coordinator. She really stressed the Autism, and I said we would meet her. I set up a meeting with her, the following Sunday after church. Through Church I couldn't concentrate, my stomach was in knots. I wanted this to work out so badly, but was afraid as well. Since reading the email, I had read countless pages of information on the internet, I checked out books from the library. I do so much research I had figures and facts pouring from my ears. We went and instantly fell in love. A week later we brought her home.

Bringing a child home is a huge change, we were used to being spontaneous. Going on weekend trips the spur of the moment. Making a "Walmart Run" at 3:00 am. A child changes that. A child with Autism absolutely changes that. Spontaneous is not in their vocabulary on most days. The first three months were definetily baptism by fire. They hand you this little child, and a bag of clothes, and that is it. We had to quickly adjust. Learning day by day how things affect her, she hated those gestures of affection, but every day I would give her a light hug. I worked tirelessly teaching her sign language. Using the sign and saying the word. I started potty training her. I made an appointment right away to confirm the diagnoses.She was already three and half at this point, and I knew that early detection/diagnoses and early intervention is crucial with Autism.

We got the diagnoses in August, and then were put on a wait list for therapy. We were told first nine months, which turned into a year, then eighteen months, and then another year. She started therapy on June 8 2012. In all of this waiting, we really weren't sure what to do. Or how to approach it. My aunt's friend gave us countless tips, and advice to keep us from pulling out our hair ( Thank You Tricia.) She was in school, and that helped some,. But things like washing her hair still set her off, and made me dread it. There were so many things we did wrong... we didn't know any better.

Tricia tried to help us when she could, but living four hours away she did the best she could.

I saw the light attending a conference put on by the Autism Society of Wisconsin. We attended in April of 2011. It was so informative, and really opened our eyes. We truly weren't alone.

The Autism Society of Wisconsin is a great resource for families. They are "dedicated to improving the lives of all affected by autism in Wisconsin by providing information and referral, family support, advocacy, professional development, resource development, and by raising awareness and acceptance. " (http://www.asw4autism.org/)  Through out the year they offer events like the convention, the Green Bay Gamblers Hockey Night, and classes, work shops and seminars through out the year.

They have helped our family so much, I wanted to give back. So as a Consultant for 31 gifts I am doing a fundraiser from now until April13th where you can shop on line, or order from me directly, and all the proceeds go to the Autism Society of Wisconsin. You can shop now at http://www.mythirtyone.com/shop/catalog.aspx?eventId=E3070543&from=DIRECTLINK

Autism Awareness Month

As you may or may not know, I am a foster mom to a beautiful little girl Sapphira. She is six years old, has brown hair, big brown eyes, she has a huge spirit and a loving attitude. She has this smile that lights up the room, and makes you fall instantly in love with her. She also has Autism.

We've had Sapphira for almost three years. To us we are her parents, and to her she is our daughter. We hope some day we can adopt her. But that is a long time coming, and a struggle for another day. Today- well everyday, we struggle over mundain things, don't bite yourself, I am sorry we are running two minutes behind schedule, be nice to the therapist. These are every day things in her world. Things such as sensory breaks, weighted blankets, daily therapy, and IEPs.

Autism is a bunch of things all rolled into one, Awareness should be everywhere. But its not. We still get the looks, the stares, the rude, nasty, and sometimes downright hurtful comments. It shocks me that people think a good smack on the butt will cure behavior problems, or that staring at us with a sour puss will stop a melt down. It doesn't- it won't.  But Autism is one of those things you can't see from the outside. Unlike someone in a wheel chair, Autism its not fully recognizable to the general public.

Awareness and Education are a must.

April happens to be Autism Awareness month. Locally we have tons of activities and events. The Green Bay Gamblers' Hockey Team will Host Autism Awareness Night on Friday April 12th. And the Autism Society of Wisconsin has their convention at the Kalahari April 18th, 19, and 20th. Tonight -April 2nd- is light it up Blue, where people all over the world are lighting things up in a blue shade to bring awareness.

As a mom I want to help as much as possible. I want to educate everyone I meet, hand out cards on Autism. But its just possible or feasible. But what can I do to help? Like a dutiful parent I have the sticker on the back of my car, you know the ribbon with all the puzzle pieces. I have my profile picture on Facebook the official Light It Up Blue Icon. I report status updates on Autism, but does this really change anything? Does it bring education, or awareness?

Back in January I started as an independent consultant with a direct sales company. We sell things like purses, organizers, thermals, and other items. I absolutely love this company and they encourage us to give back.

In spirit of giving back, and of bringing Awareness to Autism, I have decided to do a fundraiser through my direct sales company, all of the proceeds will be donated then to the Autism Society of Wisconsin. Its running from today April 2nd to April 13th. You can contact me via email at camrannie@yahoo.com for more details, or you can visit my Facebook page for event details and links to shop https://www.facebook.com/groups/449321628466940/

30 Random Facts

A couple years ago my sister in law, Leann, tagged me in a Facebook game. The idea was to get to know people better, and the rules were : Once you have been tagged, you're suppose to write 30 facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end choose 30 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you.

I found this old posting and wondered how much I changed or what my 30 facts would be today. I see a lot that would stay the same.

 1.) No matter what people may think Family is my everything
       This is still true for me. Family is my everything. We may be loud dysfunctional, fight occasionally, get on each others' nerves. But that's okay, because in the end we are always there for each other. And our love is deep!

2.) Drama really ticks me off especially when its perpetuated over and over by the same person, even more so if its family doing it
       This still ticks me off, I think it always will. I think what's worst is when there is one who creates it, others feed off of it, and just give it the steam it needs to perpetuate. Leave it alone, ignore it, bite your tongue and move on.
3.) I believe 99% in forgiveness but somethings you just can't forgive
      I am a huge believe in Forgiveness. Jesus taught his disipiles a prayer- The Lords' Prayer, or The Our Father. In it it clearly states "Forgive us our sins as WE FORGIVE those who tresspass against us." This is the whole Golden Rule concept. I am 99% of the way to forgiveness, and I am working hard to get that last way. Despite what others' may think, I believe forgiveness is an essential part of getting into heaven.
4.) I am sure Leann will finish my blanket... sometime
      She is crocheting me a blanket. She is also a mom to three, and very busy. So I know it will be done when she can finish it!
5.) Greg is my Godsend. The answer to my prayers for my husband
      Greg is my Godsend, is a rock-my rock, in this tubulation we call life. He is there for me whatever the need may be. Now this doesn't mean at times I don't get annoyed, frustrated, or downright angry with him. I think its impossible to live with someone, and not get annoyed by them. But love is sticking through that annoyance, and see his flaws, and loving him for those flaws.
6.) I love going to Celebration Church
      I do love Attending Celebration. We need to do so more often, and on a regular basis. 
7.) I pray every day, talk to God all the time, and talk to Grandma Betty Grandpa Jim and Papa daily. I miss them so much
      This has not changed, I still pray, and talk to my love ones in Heaven. I've added a couple sadly.
8.) Being a foster parent is so much harder then I thought, but a million times more rewarding!
      I would move this up to maybe number one or two. Its a gazillion times harder then I ever thought/expected. Its hard to have these kiddos in your life. You want the best for them, and Wisconsin is completely for protecting the parent's rights, not the children's rights. Its really hard to watch kiddos go back to ill prepared parents, or kiddos who will be in the system for years due to parent's circumstances. 
9.) I fight for what I believe in
      Absolutely! Especially when it comes to my kiddos. 
10.) I couldn't be prouder of my goddaughters Michaela and Kayley. I hope they learn from me to stand for what's right
        What is right, doesn't neccessairy mean what you think is right... 
11.) Even though I am so excited for Shadowfever, I know I am going to cry
        This was an amazing *ending* to a Great book! Its continued in the Iced series. But I am not starting that until there are more books of it out! 
12.) I wish we could see our family in va more often, I wish I could show them everything we love about Wisconsin
       This says it all! I miss them...
13.)I would do pretty much anything for a Sheetz hotdog, a cherry 7-up slushie, and salsa doritoes
        This is bold and underlined, because it is true! I crave this meal! 
14.)I hate when Greg has the tv turned up and I have to talk louder on the phone and he says your so loud on that thing. nss! you have the tv blaring.
        Usually when he says this now he talking to Sapphira! :)

15.) Some day I hope to experience pregnancy myself
        At least once. 
16.) my husband thinks I am stubborn
        I think this is still true. 
17.) When I graduate my goal is to go to Scotland for the summer and intern
       That would have been an amazing opportunity! But when I graduated, Sapphira started therapy right after. It would have been irresponsible of me to take her, and I couldn't leave her! 
18.) when I come home from Scotland I want to start my own business focusing on graphics and photography
       Instead of going to Scotland, I went to Vegas for four days. And started back on school immediately for my bachelors degree. Hopefully when I graduate in Dec 2013, sometime shortly after we can make it to Scotland. 
19) I also want to build our own house then
      With loans the way they are, unless something changes, I think we will have to purchase a house. But I would love love love to build my dream house! 

20.) I would love to renew our vows on Mackinac Island with those closest to us
       Mackinac Island, or maybe Gretna Green in Scotland. I still want to do this, but I want to wait until we adopt Sapphira. 
21.) I am 9 years and nine months apart from my Aunt Meme, I am also 9 years and nine months apart from Delie my sister, Kayley is also 9 yrs about from her, For the tradition to continue I need to get pregnant in Aug 2011.
       This didn't happen but that is okay.... 
22.) I absolutely love going to school at Globe... most days
        Now that I am working on my Bachelor's Degree, through Globe, I attend school on line. Which really works for me. 
23.) I love my Puggle Pugsley, and cant wait to add to my fur babies, a newfie and a maltipoo
       Where to start? I do love Pugsley, but he is becoming more and more high strung. I sometimes think maybe our family isn't the best for him. Sapphira is rough and tumble, and he is not. He gets stressed by her antics. I'd love a maltipoo, but I think for our family we need something sturdy, like a Newfie, Golden, or a Lab.  
24.) I love my sisters and my Cysters
25.) I have a huge crush on Gerard Butler
        Oh Aye! I do! mmm he is scrumdiliumpious!
26.) it bugs me when people dont turn their blinker on before turning or they forget to turn it off
       I absolutely hate that! 
27.) it bothers me that people treat children so callously
       This still shocks me, the way people treat their kids. And especially how they use their child for their own gains. As a foster parent I see this a lot sadly. Some social workers are in tune with it and adjust accordingly. While others, are oblivious. And the worst is the ones that know it, tell you about it and still let the parents get a way with it. For social workers like this... I hope there is a special place in hell for them.
28.) I cant wait for Summer 2011.. well really just summer
       Summer is my favorite time of the year! And Summer 2013 we are kicking off with a trip to Disney World. One of the many reasons I am trying to shape up! :) 
29.) I could really go for some pizza soup from Springhill Tavern
       I love their pizza soup, and their mozzerella sticks. MMM both are so yummy. But right now I am focused on my goals of losing weight, becoming more active, and healthier. I want to run the Color Run this year, and Bike around Mackinac Island, and next year I want to run the Princess Half Marathon at Disney. 
30.) I hope to one day visit every 50 states
       I still would love to do this, I think that would be amazing. 

Here I am Again

Here I am again. Starting or restarting a weight loss journey once more.  I know, I know, I know, I've been at this place several times before. but really this time I need to do it, I can't have any excuses any more. I have to hold MYSELF accountable and not depend on anyone else.

I saw something on Pinterest that really inspired me, something about how a misstep in your diet is just like going the wrong direction, make a Uie and get back on track.. I really liked that.

So why now? Why this time?

A lot of reasons, Greg played me a video he did of me sleeping at night, and I stopped breathing several times, sometimes up to thirty seconds before I started again. Sleep apnea scares me, I don't want to wear the mask, I have issues with things touching my face. But I also don't want Sapphira to wake up one day and I am gone. This just made me realize I need to get serious about my weight, because not only is it sleep apnea, and PCOS it could be diabetes, Heart Disease, etc.

I am tired of feeling sick and tired every day. I don't think this is the way to live my life, I think right now I am letting it pass me by. I have so many things I want to accomplish, do and experience. But I do not feel comfortable at the weight I am to do so. I am tired of watching life from the side lines, or sitting back. I want to be a participant in life.

So I made up fitness work sheets that I am going to "journal" on every day. And I made up a big goal sheet, a mini goal sheet and rewards.

Major Goals:

1.)    Lose 165 pounds

2.)    Go down 8 dress sizes

3.)    WORK OUT EACH DAY

4.)    BLOG

5.)    WALK 16700 STEPS daily increasing each month

6.)    Complete Color Run

7.)    Autism Walk

 

Mini Goals

Easter  March 31

1.)    -20 pounds

2.)    Fit into Purple Shirt

3.)    Work out every day

4.)    Walk 16670 steps Daily

April 30^{th Total loss 35}

1.)    -15 pounds

2.)    Work on arms

3.)    Walk 17000 Daily

May 22^nd -50

1.)    -15 pounds

2.)    Fit into Goal Outfits

3.)    Work out daily

4.)    Walk 17500 Steps daily

June 30^th 70

1.)    -20 pounds

2.)    Work out daily

3.)    Start training for 5k

4.)    Pick out Goal outfit for Delie bday!

July 30^th 90

1.)    -20 pounds

2.)    Work out Daily

3.)    Bike around Mackinaw Island

4.)    Continue 5k training

Aug 30^th 105

1.)    -15 pounds

2.)    Complete Color Run

3.)    Work out Daily

Sept 30^th 120

1.)    -15 pounds

2.)    Work out Daily

3.)    Pick out Goal Item For Birthday

Oct 30^th 135

1.)    –15 pounds

2.)    Work Out Daily

3.)    Autism Walk

Nov 30 150

1.)    -15 pounds

2.)    Work out Daily

3.)    Pick Out Goal Outfit for Christmas

Dec 30- 165

GOALS COMPLETE

BUILD New GOALS

CELEBRATE In Vegas for NYE!

 

REWARDS

MARCH-WEAR PURPLE TO EASTER, GET MANI TO MATCH

APRIL- BE IN SHAPE FOR DISNEY, GET NEW SHOES GOWALK SKETCHERS

MAY-FIT INTO GOAL ITEMS, GET MANI FOR DISNEY

JUNE-BUY OUTFIT FOR DELIE’S BIRTHDAY,

JULY-BUY CUTE WHITE SHORTS/HEAD BAND/SHIRT FOR COLOR RUN

AUGUST- SIGN UP FOR DANCE CLASSES , START PLANNING VEGAS

SEPT- PICK OUT GOAL ITEM TO WEAR ON BIRTHDAY FOR DANCING

OCTOBER-GET PINK EXTENSIONS IN,

NOV- PURCHASE GOAL OUTFIT FOR CHRISTMAS

DEC-PACK FOR VEGAS, WITH ALL NEW CLOTHES. 

So you may have noticed I have listed Goal Outfits for March and May. Thats what the pictures are of. Including one of myself now. yuck!

I really have to do something about this, even if its just to save on buying another airline ticket. Or so I can ride the rides at Disney with Sapphira with out worrying am I to big. So I don't pass out from the oppressive heat in Florida. 

So this Purple Top I want to wear for Easter Meal.

These are goal outfits for while at Disney.

Greg and I with a Heart Shaped Chip... he ate it after this...

Our Summer Bucket List

Every year I try to cram as much as I can in to those few short months known as summer. It never happens, so this year I made a list, checked it twice...

 

My Summer Bucket List

Take a Paddle Boat ride

Fly Kites

Run through a sprinkler

Play a board game

Lay in the grass and watch the clouds float by

Make fresh homemade lemonade

Have a water balloon fight

Watch fireflies

Make koolaid pops

Build a sand castle

Read a book under a tree

Go fishing

Make a dated family hand print piece of art

Go on a nature hike

Draw outside with sidewalk chalk

Lay on a blanket and watch the stars

Dance under the moon

Go Strawberry picking

Go to the drive in movie

Campout in the backyard

Make something tye died

Keep my toes painted all summer

Go Tubing

Sit on the beach with a good book

Sit on the beach with good company

Eat ice cream at the marina

Go camping

Have a Party

Have a media free day: no computers, cell phones, tvs, or tablets. (camera’s & music are ok)

Hold my own parade

Go for a bike ride

Decorate my flip flops

Take one photo a day

Go on a romantic date with greg

Visit the Zoo

Visit the splash pads!

Go on a Treasure Hunt

Visit a State Park

Make a Music Video

Go to a Fair

Take Sapphira to Six Flags

Go Mini Golfing

Play baseball with friends and family

Make A windchime

Go on a picnic

Get with my sisters, and girl cousins, and watch Spice World, and pretend we are the Spice Girls once more. Introduce this to the new generation of kids (ie michaela, emily, kayley, sapphira...) 

"You can't deny laughter, when it comes it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants." Stephan King, "Hearts in Atlantis"

I love this quote, because for me it is so true. I can't tell you the times I have tried, in vain, not to laugh. Trying to contain my laughter, is like trying to stop water bubbling over the top of a waterfall in these situations. And most often ends up completely backfiring, and the situation much worst then if I just let out a little giggle instead of fighting it. Ususally when I fight it, I end up snorting, then laughing like a ninny because I snorted, and then the whole thing goes to hell in a hand basket. This has happened to me at church, at school, and other opportune moments.

Its much worst when I have family near me. For instance, last year after my grandmother's funeral, my aunt, my cousin and I stayed up talking. Taking comfort in one another, sharing our grief. Eventually we started laughing and giggling over stories about my grandmother, little things that may not seem humorous to others but to us little inside jokes, gifts from my grandmother to help us smile in a time of utmost sadness. How she taught us to kick off our underwear and catch it - a trick that is sure to delight your future husband one day. How instead of mashing her strawberries, she blended them instead. How she drove away from a gas station with the air hose still attached to the tire, and a week later at the same gas station she drove away with the gas pump still in the gas tank.
It was late- well past midnight, our respective significant others asleep long ago. We sat on the couch next to one another, or in my aunt's case sprawled across my cousin and I. My aunt commented, in a way only close girlfriends might to one another, that she had an itchy "clam" I, slightly drunk off laughter, made up a song about itchy clams. This sent all three of us into a fit of giggles and uproarious laughter, the kind that takes the breath from you, where your belly hurts, and tears roll down your face. My aunt has a nifty trick she does, well not really a trick, but at times her foot will spasm, and her middle toe will stick straight up, it looks like its flipping you off. I'd find it offensive, if it wasn't so damn funny.

Well me singing the itchy clam song again for the third time to her laughter, she stretched out her legs on top of me and my cousin, and had that foot spasm. Which just made my cousin and I laugh harder. In great gasping breaths I tried to roll her off of me and make a dash for the bathroom, but I couldn't, my aunt was gasping for her doing her "potty dance" stance laying across me, when my cousin jumps up starts hollering "get up Meme's going to pee.." well that did it for me, and I couldn't hold it any more. I wet my pants, my aunts new couch, finally rolling her off the couch, I collapsed to the floor, laughing harder then I was before, trying to explain it was me. I went and changed, and we moved to a different area of the living room, continuing our talk. I don't think we made to bed much before six the next morning.

But six short hours later, I sat in an overcrowded over heated high school gym as my little brother graduated from high school. During a tearfully, beautiful "You raise me Up" sung by these high school seniors, I started to think on the last nights events. Soon tears were rolling down my face, my body shaking, as I struggled to contain my laughter. My uncle thinking to console me, rubbed my back, as I laughter great guffaws into my husband's underarm. To this day, if I think about the couch incident, I laugh. no matter where I am or what time it is, or who I am with.

Laughter, for me truly is the best medicine, it makes things seem so much better. A lot of times, especially recently if I hadn't laughed I would of cried. Laughter is so much more cleansing. It truly settles into the soul, and takes root there, making the moment infinitely brighter, infinitely more positive.

If your wondering, I did buy upholstery cleaner and cleaned my aunt's couch, I think that was the most embarrassing moment I have with in my family. Lord knows I have had many.

The point of this long rambling post? I think we need a little more laughter. Some good old fashion, laughter, the kind you most likely experienced last as a kid. Where tears roll down your face, your belly hurts from the strain, your breathless, and yes maybe you pee a little. To many of us as adults take everything so seriously. I am proud to say that I have a good belly laugh as my grandmother would say, at least once a day. Sometimes over something only I find funny. sometimes over a past joke, or remark. Sometimes, just because if I don't laugh, I will cry.